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That said, I wish I’d been able to give myself more confidence on my first few dates with the man who would become my husband. It’s been over 12 years since then, and I still get a little nervous, but I’m making a conscious effort to relax and enjoy the moments before we meet—and during—because who knows what we’ll discover. If you’re up for a gutsy new approach to dating, you can get a free trial of my Date Happiness dating app and join my little community of smart, kind, goofy, and awesome guys. I’ll be your facilitator for finding love. It’s what we do.
The Basics
You’ve heard it a million times: Dating is a numbers game. You might be surprised to learn that the majority of people who are in relationships are not even seeing or talking to the other person more than twice a week. That’s because it’s such an effort to get to know someone and to stay connected to them every day and sometimes to both of them! Spending time alone with yourself is hugely important—it helps you see yourself through new eyes and remember you are the only person who can love you. However, other people—like the man or woman who’s asking you to date them—have their own perspectives, dreams, and desires. Here are some rules of thumb to help you learn to get along better with others and give yourself the confidence you need to enjoy dating, in general:
Ditch The Laundry
It’s a little harder to meet someone when you’re buried in piles of wrinkly clothes and scented dryer sheets. If you want to be the kind of woman or man who attracts others, your space needs to be clean, organized, and comfortable. In particular, you should take a few minutes each day to clean your apartment or house—take a shower, make yourself a pot of coffee, and just make your space as lovely as you can.
If you spend your spare time at home, you have the chance to get to know the inner workings of your space in ways other people will never have. Maybe you’ve been avoiding that gorgeous office chair in your living room that just makes you feel like a princess. When you clean it, you find yourself drawn to it in ways you didn’t notice before. You may be able to replace it with something new, but you’ll never know it until you look at it objectively http://www.spicysingles.co.uk/articles/connect-with-spicy-single-ladies-and-enjoy-fabulous-moments
The good news is that we all come with some sort of game plan, and we all have a way to tell others what our deal is. Some people just need to be really clear. Others need a bit more, like a good gesture that shows that you’re a real people person. For all of you out there who are in the dating trenches, let’s get started.
DO
Keep Your Own Game Plan. If you haven’t been on one date yet, you’re doing it wrong. Even if you don’t want the “traditional” stuff—a bachelorette party, a 90-day commitment, a wedding ring—you should have a plan. You know what you want out of the relationship, but it’s always good to have a place to start. If you don’t, you’ll lose the confidence in yourself and your game plan will be shot.
Say “Yes.” You can’t force yourself to say yes to something, but you can force yourself to say yes to yourself. If you aren’t sure, research, ask, and ponder. You’re as good a judge of character as anyone else, so do what you would for any other significant relationship. It may seem like getting involved in a relationship is the easy part, but it’s actually the hard part.
Read Up. To build your self-esteem, we all need to know where we stand. You need to get in touch with what you think of yourself. It’s usually not easy to hear when people are saying flattering things about your personality and aptitude, but you need to hear it, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. A good place to start is a site like Amazon.com’s “Greatest Customer Reviews,” where users share their positive or negative experiences with different products. Read what others have to say about you, then think about what you think of yourself.
Understand Your Issues. It’s natural to be self-conscious, and we all want to feel secure and comfortable. Unfortunately, insecurity makes us pick people we aren’t comfortable with, so getting to know how you feel can help you in many ways. Insecurity often comes from issues you may not even be conscious of. Get in touch with your emotions and take the time to work through them. And let’s face it: Everyone has issues. How you deal with them may determine whether you get a date with the elusive white diamond of your dreams.
Stop Making Excuses. You know the story: You
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