Image by Stephan Kleiman.
Who Are You?
Are you currently in a relationship? If not, then what are you looking for? If you are in a relationship, have you and your partner met every friend, neighbor, and complete stranger you have shared your lives with—or have you at least met the majority of them?
The idea of dating is that we put ourselves out there, be it to meet people or to find love. Most of us are at least familiar with the stages of dating: You first start meeting people, you keep trying on the notion of being in a relationship, and finally you find the right person. And if you’re new to the dating scene, you may be a little lost in the shuffle. So here’s what you should know, according to real dating experts:
You need to be honest. We’ve all been going on bad date after bad date, so there’s no point pretending that you’re perfect. No one you are being intimate with is perfect, so start with the reality of who you are and the reality of who they are.
We’ve all been going on bad date after bad date, so there’s no point pretending that you’re perfect. No one you are being intimate with is perfect, so start with the reality of who you are and the reality of who they are. Get to know yourself. Everyone has their own set of expectations and standards, and they’re not always the same. Have you ever met someone who is a “crazy personality” and you end up learning more about yourself? It’s a perfect cycle: You learn to get along with a person’s quirks and their strengths. In return, they learn to get along with your quirks and your strengths. For instance, if you’re low-key, energetic, and loud, you might be the most fun person you know. If you’re more introverted and calm, you might be one of the most likable people. If you can meet a person’s expectations or encourage them, you’re likely to form a friendship, not a romantic relationship.
Everyone has their own set of expectations and standards, and they’re not always the same. Have you ever met someone who is a “crazy personality” and you end up learning more about yourself? It’s a perfect cycle: https://www.sumy-romantic.com/top_reasons_to_use_adultsearch_in_ukraine_order_sex_online.html
A few notable things to note: This post will be focusing mostly on dating as an adult, which is to say you are not looking for a serious relationship. There are numerous advice guides for those looking for love: the How to Find Love 101 guide from match.com, the Free online dating services for singles, as well as the all-knowing Pajiba guide. I have listened to these and many more guides, but they all seem to have one thing in common: they expect you to be aware of what you want, and to be able to articulate what it is that you want.
Although I am by no means a dating expert, I can tell you what I’ve learned over the years, and with that knowledge, I believe I can help you refine what you need from a potential love interest.
1) What do you want?
I assume you’re asking this question because you’re out there for love, right? Well, first, keep in mind that many people don’t have to spend as much time and mental energy on their careers, as a lot of us do. That’s a big reason why you, the perfect person, might not be apparent. That’s not to say you have to be the stereotypical “professional.” In many professions, not having an intense career can be an asset. You’ll have free time, a place to focus your energy, and you’ll have time to work on other aspects of your life.
Maybe you’re looking to date someone who is also interested in the outdoors, travels, dancing, or another hobby. But what if you don’t have that? What if you have a demanding job that requires 70 hours a week? Or a career that leads you in the opposite direction? What do you do if you don’t have one of those? You can say the old cliché, “find a hobby,” but in the age of social media and the like, you might not be able to quickly “find” a hobby, especially if you want to have something in common with your date.
That’s where having a job/career comes in. Wanting to be a regular part of someone else’s life is extremely important. I know that “boring” is not the best word, but for the purpose of my article, that’s what I’m looking for. Staying in a career that is interesting and holds some element of risk or adventure is important. As somebody who has worked as a waitress and a journalist, I know
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