Warm up with a Proven Method for Acing First Dates
When you’re first getting into the dating scene, the first hurdle you face is gauging your abilities. If you’re hopeless at flirting (and we can all be a little hopeless at this), how do you determine if your date is anything but a boorish bore? Try the expert system that really works—dance.
It’s helpful to know how to do a ballroom dance, like the Viennese Waltz, the Waltz (Country or Foxtrot), or even the Salsa, which we’ve excerpted here. If your date shows up with a paper bag over his head, that could mean he or she is well versed in American square dancing. This is a skill for which you will not be penalized.
When you’re a little more comfortable with the basics of flirting, you may start to pick up on the proverbial ‘tells’ in a conversation, like body language (e.g. crossed arms, tapping feet), verbal indicators (e.g. “um, well, I’m sort of slow” or “sorry, so you’re from [city name]?”), and tone. Most of these ‘tells’ can be handled as the interaction progresses, but a little practice beforehand will pay off in the long run. Still, the crux of your date preparation should be a body of knowledge that proves your ability to hold your own at the expense of the person you’re flirting with.
If you master some basic banter, you’ll be surprised how many people are willing to extend a second, third, or fourth date. Our message for you is: Learn your stuff, and learn your stuff well.
View your date(s) like a frat boy
Unless you’re joining a sorority of sorts, most of us are not trained to take people on dates. So, when you’re going on a second or even third date with a stranger, you want to have a little fun. If you want to try something a little more fun, though, here are some of the things we’ve found to work well for us:
o Women: ask him, “what do you want?” in order to find out what he’s really after. If he says “well, I want to get to know you better,” he’s probably a decent, fun guy. If he says “well, I want to go back to my http://www.your-dating-info.com/top-reasons-to-use-hookup-sites-the-pros-of-adult-dating.html
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How to get comfortable with yourself
In the words of a certain Ed, “You can’t love yourself and someone else.” And it’s hard to love someone else if you can’t love yourself—they are a part of you, and you need to learn to like yourself first. So what is the minimum you can do to get comfortable with yourself before you get into a relationship with anyone?
Getting over having to look “good”
It takes a significant effort to get over having to look good for someone else, because it’s part of you. It’s hard to accept that your date would like you for you, even if it’s someone you’re attracted to. With that in mind, take this as the minimum you need to do to stop worrying about having to look good: Go to the gym and sweat.
Making yourself smile
If you look back on the last few days, have you ever smiled at someone, even if you didn’t mean to? Probably not, but now’s the time to change that. Don’t let a stupid comment or a rude gesture stand in your way. Today, smile at the bus driver, the cashier, the grocery store clerk, or even the person walking towards you on the sidewalk. If it’s a busy day, you can even smile at the person in front of you in line. And if you’re having a bad day, the tiniest little smile can make a world of difference.
Know what you want, but not too much
If you think you need to read 50 books on relationships before you can find someone, don’t. You want to love someone, not learn about it. The more you learn, the more vulnerable you become, which is not a good look in an already volatile environment. Focus on getting to know who you are, what you like, and what you want. For example:
Do you want a long-term relationship?
Do you want a one-night stand?
Do you want a one-night stand? How much alcohol would you be willing to consume?
Do you want a relationship with someone of your age?
Do you want a relationship with someone of a different race, culture, ethnicity, or religion?
Do you want to be in a relationship with a friend, or do you want to be the initiator?
Do you want to be married, engaged, or live in a common-law relationship?
If
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